You know I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about what it takes for women to first figure out that they are not safe in patriarchy and then to figure out they can move through the world and not to be complicit in it, while at the same time, not to be murdered by it. The only answered I have is sisterhood. Sisterhood is not just powerful. It is essential. In reading this, I wondered why your friend didn't speak up when the man touched you. I'm not casting blame. Just making an observation. . . . We are so accustomed to staying silent for our own protection - aren't we?
One problem that most women experience is fear. We stay quiet because we are afraid of male violence. The other problem that I see in my own life is that the people I identify as my sisters, don't see me the same way. White women have been too willing to identify with the master. They have been willing to sacrifice me to save themselves. I wonder if they are finally seeing that this strategy doesn't work . Perhaps we should be reading Audre Lorde to little girls in preschool. Two essential lessons Audre Lorde teaches that white women need to learn, and learn quickly I think, in order to understand sisterhood -- "the master's tools will never dismantle the master's house" and "your silence will not protect you." I know that I read Audre Lorde to my girls as wee babes . . . . And I have been giving her work to every woman I thought could hear it for the last 30 years . . .
Claire, something very similar happened to me and a couple of friends in a restaurant bar about a year ago. Same thing. He kept touching us and we tolerated it. I had the same thoughts afterwards about it, wondering why in the world I would let this happen. Anyone who knows me knows I speak my mind. Incredible
Thanks so much for reading! As I wrote in another post, the more life experience I get, the more feminist I become. Though that's not exactly right. In the 70's, girls were told we could do and be anything. Then a lifetime of learning, well, not exactly, and watch your back. I appreciate your solidarity!
Fuck yes, sister.
You know I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about what it takes for women to first figure out that they are not safe in patriarchy and then to figure out they can move through the world and not to be complicit in it, while at the same time, not to be murdered by it. The only answered I have is sisterhood. Sisterhood is not just powerful. It is essential. In reading this, I wondered why your friend didn't speak up when the man touched you. I'm not casting blame. Just making an observation. . . . We are so accustomed to staying silent for our own protection - aren't we?
One problem that most women experience is fear. We stay quiet because we are afraid of male violence. The other problem that I see in my own life is that the people I identify as my sisters, don't see me the same way. White women have been too willing to identify with the master. They have been willing to sacrifice me to save themselves. I wonder if they are finally seeing that this strategy doesn't work . Perhaps we should be reading Audre Lorde to little girls in preschool. Two essential lessons Audre Lorde teaches that white women need to learn, and learn quickly I think, in order to understand sisterhood -- "the master's tools will never dismantle the master's house" and "your silence will not protect you." I know that I read Audre Lorde to my girls as wee babes . . . . And I have been giving her work to every woman I thought could hear it for the last 30 years . . .
Yup. “Shields up” - prepared to fire.
Claire, something very similar happened to me and a couple of friends in a restaurant bar about a year ago. Same thing. He kept touching us and we tolerated it. I had the same thoughts afterwards about it, wondering why in the world I would let this happen. Anyone who knows me knows I speak my mind. Incredible
Rachel, thanks for reading. This is so common, isn't it? And the unwritten rules we follow constantly to keep the peace and be safe. Ughhhhhhhhh!
Thanks so much for reading! As I wrote in another post, the more life experience I get, the more feminist I become. Though that's not exactly right. In the 70's, girls were told we could do and be anything. Then a lifetime of learning, well, not exactly, and watch your back. I appreciate your solidarity!